Being the Key: How to Shed Shame, Rewrite Your Story, and Trust Yourself Fully
Only you hold the key to your desires—so let that truth ignite your power to transform.
Poem: There Comes a Time
there comes a time when you must decide
what will you ultimately do with this life
will your fear forcefully bully you anxious and insecure
will past injustice manipulate you to be a self-saboteur
can you step out of illusional self-created circles of safety
so you don't succumb to impulsive choices undeniably hasty
will your vices conquer and steal the very best in you
or will you learn new ways to process pain and renew
will you continue to default to victimhood and blame
or can you forgive and rise up with steadfast faith
will you change corrupt habits and paralyzing ways
can you reframe what untrue thoughts have to say
will you continue to harbor old memories, demons, and ghosts
or can you release your ship to see what unsailed seas it can roam
can you make bold moves creating a vast continuum of firsts
or be trapped amidst the tension, drowning in discomfort
because the truth is- there comes a time
when you finally realize you only have this one life
there is no stopping the uncontrollable and unknown
but your response to this is completely yours to own
the rest of what composes your life you get to choose
don't let temporary deception steal this away from you
remember your subconscious is continually driving your mind
subliminally coercing you with evidence from earlier times
its intent is for secure safety but aimlessly keeps you stagnant
severing the joy of life into fragments and entrapments
this work isn't easy and surely takes some time
but not undoing decades of damage will leave you infinitely confined
you are no longer stranded when you choose change over strife
and you'll finally become the warrior that saves her own life
What Takes Forever to Learn
The biggest determining factor of our success in this life—and our alignment to our deepest desires—will always be in direct proportion to what we believe about ourselves. And that always starts with how we choose to see ourselves.
I say choose because we can always flip the script. Always.
When you start believing you are the key to everything you are and want, you expand, transform, and live without limits. The red tape disappears, and you realize it was you keeping it sticky all along. The good news? You are the only one who can remove it.
When We Think the Answer is Outside
Sometimes we ‘see’ ourselves clearly in certain areas of life. For me, in a work environment, I’m a powerhouse: innovative, collaborative, resilient. It’s no surprise—this was the space where I once sourced my worth, external validation giving me permission to see myself in a good and neutral light.
But relationships? Self-defeat, not good enough, codependency, anxious attachment—you name it, I wore it. I couldn’t find my sense of worth in relationships unless it was constantly reflected back to me, in just the ways I needed, indefinitely. What I hated in myself I sought to find validation through others that I wasn’t. It made for some very dysfunctional and abusive relationships— on both of our parts, but mine was through unintentional manipulation. But that’s not a healthy or whole relationship—it’s a constant negotiation of my worth with the external world.
And that’s what happens when we are wired to live out of our wound instead of our worth. We carry outdated beliefs and emotional compensation patterns—like proof-seeking, self-sabotage, people-pleasing—into every area of our lives. And in doing so, we keep the red tape sticky, no matter how hard we try to peel it away.
The truth is there will always be areas of our life that need mending and constant tending. Lean into those, they are your greatest gifts.
Living the Lesson, Not Just Learning It
I could not ‘find’ my sense of worth anywhere in relationships unless it was reflected back to me every second, in just the right ways. Otherwise, I felt defective, unworthy, anxious. It created dysfunction, abuse, and self-abandonment—on both sides.
For me, it was like I was constantly seeking an external certificate that proved I was lovable, worthy, enough. It made me manipulate myself, manipulate situations, all in the name of survival. It wasn’t malicious—it was learned. But it kept me small.
It kept me seeking instead of receiving. It kept me proving instead of being. It kept me from the truth: I was always the key. I always held the power to rewrite my story. I just needed to let go of the armor of shame I wore as protection—and allow my worth to be something I felt, not something I earned. Do you ever feel this way? Knowing there is so much more to you but you never feel you can let her shine through?
And isn’t that what we are doing to ourselves when we are trying to fit in a box because we are wired to live out of our wound and not our worth?
The Cold Neuro-Evidence
Psychology shows us that our beliefs shape our reality. What we believe about ourselves creates the lens through which we see the world—and that’s what our Reticular Activating System (RAS) filters for us.
If you believe you’re unworthy, your RAS will highlight every flaw, every rejection, every reason you should hide. But if you believe you are worthy, your RAS will highlight opportunities, connections, abundance. Somatic research teaches us that emotional patterns get stored in our bodies—like the heavy feeling in the gut, the tightness in the chest, the tension in the jaw. These stored emotions become compensation patterns:
Overachieving to prove worth.
People-pleasing to avoid conflict.
Hiding your voice to stay safe.
And this is how the red tape sticks. But when we integrate these emotions—when we learn to witness, accept, and release them—we dissolve the severity of those outdated beliefs. We stop proving by doing. We start demonstrating by being. We send a strong message to the universe AND ourselves that how we have been living and believing about ourselves is not the truth and is no longer our way forward or the story we will continue to tell. That declaration is when we align with our purpose, our intuition, and our prosperity.
Firm Reminders
You are not broken. You are the key. You are not your trauma. You are the transformation. You are not the red tape. You are the remover of it.
Every time you choose to believe in your worth and not your faulty perception stemming from your wound, to see yourself through the eyes of compassion, you flip the script on your entire life.
It doesn’t mean you’ll never feel the urge to prove, to please, to shrink. But it means you’ll recognize those urges as echoes of old stories—stories that no longer serve you. It means you’ll find safety in yourself, not just in the reflection of others. And in that safety, you’ll find freedom to expand, to express, to receive.
You’ll find emotional renewal—and the ability to live your purpose and own your worth without compromise.
When You Know Your Worth
Picture trusting yourself so deeply that you don’t need external validation to feel worthy. Imagine feeling safe to expand into your creativity, your relationships, your prosperity—without guilt or fear. Visualize writing your story from a place of wholeness, not wounds. Embody living as the key that unlocks your own transformation.
When you know your worth, you learn to dissolve shame, integrate emotions, and align with your desires. And you forgive and trust yourself fully. Think about that. How does that truth echo in your cells? It feels good, like home, doesn’t it?
We have to learn to get comfortable with the fact that we are worthy and do deserve to receive, allow pleasure, lovingly accept what we do not favor about ourselves. If we never learn this, we will never feel safe to expand— or even just be ourselves. So how do we let go of ‘proving by doing’ and instead ‘demonstrate by being’? How do we find emotional renewal and integration with these new truths and dissolve the severity of outdated beliefs and motional compensation patterns? And how does it help us align more to our purpose, intuition and prosperity?
How do we get to that place instead of the hell of where we have been?
Three Ways You Can Be the Key:
Notice Where You Seek Proof:
Where are you still proving your worth? Journal it. Awareness is the first step. Where instead can you find ‘proof’ of your worth simply by breathing? Look to nature. Flowers don’t question their value; they just bloom.Feel the Emotion:
Where does that urge live in your body? Breathe into it. Witness it with compassion. Surround it with golden light or imagine it being peacefully supported and carried away into the waves.Affirm You Are the Key:
Write this on a sticky note: “I am the key to my own transformation.” Place it where you can see it daily. Being the key doesn’t mean you don’t gather resources for the quest, but it does mean that without a doubt, you know you will figure it out.
A WORTHy Invitation
Join me inside the WORTH Mini-Course and learn how to integrate your emotions, rewrite your story, and align with the life you’re meant to live. Or begin your journey with the SHIFT Spell—the first step to trusting yourself and stepping into your worth.
Because the only permission you need is your own. You are the key. Now it’s time to turn it.
Ponder the Question
Where have you been seeking proof of your worth—and what would it look like to believe you are the key instead?
Remember: Your worth will never be found, unless you first believe you have it— and you do my love, you’re already beaming with it— time to believe it.
Until we meet again, with fierce knowing of all that you are, and a bold auditory reminder here
-m