When You Stop Shrinking to Fit In— The Sovereign Invitation of Your Soul

When control collapses, courage begins—surrender is the only way through the unknown that was always meant for you.

Poem: Surrender

gripping onto every little thing

trying to mold what my future brings

tying my worth and value to outcome

and then brutally sorrowed when it all comes undone

it’s debilitatingly exhausting swimming upstream

and when your energy is all gone there's none left to breathe

life will carry us into the new

whether or not we want it to

nothing so far has turned out as planned

and the loss is more than i can honestly stand

always in search of answers and explanations

has only left me disappointed by expectation

it is now time to remember what is being said by my soul

i have to be brave and let go of all i have ever known

nervously detaching a bit and allowing it to come my way this time

instead of pursuantly chasing, planning or forcing its life

courage I muster as i surrender my heart to the mystery in the abyss

so these restrictions, red tape and fearful worries no longer control how I live

The Uncomfortable Feeling Stirring in Smallness

There’s a moment in every soul’s journey when silence becomes unbearable.

Not the good kind—the sacred hush of meditation or moonlight on the skin. But the kind of silence that festers when you keep shrinking yourself to survive. When you swallow your truth to feel safe. When you dim your light so no one says it’s “too much.”

But your soul finally calls bullshit on that kind of shrinking.

It reveals the root of what we've mistaken for humility but is actually shame in disguise. The protective masks of being “less than” so we’re not seen as “better than.” The tension we hold between invisibility and intimidation. The way we tether our worth to our wounds—then wonder why we feel stuck.

I remember my therapist asked me “Why does it seem like something is always coming up or some crisis occurs in your life every time we are trying to address why you don’t feel like you can be yourself and be supported?”

She wasn’t wrong. I had been working with her for years and we have done some deep work together, but every time this topic was our next session topic, life happened. Kid chaos, pneumonia, last-minute mandatory work meetings, and even my dog passing (miss you so much Sadie and wish you were sitting right here while I type like you used to, but I can still feel you :) blocked me from accessing this deep wound.

Why did it seem as if life was trying to protect me from uncovering this?

Our Life is Our Mirror

After the sorrow settled, I did a deep dive. I was working with the Cancer new moon and trying to heal my feminine lineage and mother wounds. I love my mother dearly, but I was reminded how every time I would be myself, it seemed to upset her. The irony is she was always telling me to be myself, but when I was, I was often scolded.

“Don’t be too loud. Sit up straight. Keep your comments to yourself. You will never be able to do that, so don’t even try. Don’t be arrogant. Stop doing so well— you are making others uncomfortable and feel bad. Don’t look or sound like you are arrogant.”

Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. Turned to Doubt. Defeat. Destruction.

In that moment I sent healing to my mom, as I know her words were just her own wounds projected on me in a means of trying to protect me. But all it did was enrage me.

I hated not feeling like I could be myself and that if I wanted to be loved I needed to be a certain way. I also learned that it was ‘very bad’ to be anything that contradicted what she wanted or what she advised.

I learned that it wasn’t ok to be confident or believe in your values because it makes others feel bad, yet she told me to be proud of who I was. I learned that I should keep quiet and not ruffle feathers instead of telling a truth that could help them, yet she told me was to speak up for myself. I learned that it wasn’t ok to be supported for who I was or that it made me greedy to think I could be, yet she told me to go after my dreams and God will provide.

The conflict and confusion were inner turmoil. Her deepest desires for me were always trumped by her fears and lack of safety. She did not mean for this, but it is what I learned. My little self equated me with being ‘bad’ and bad people don’t get good things. This was further complicated by childhood sexual trauma, in which I attached my entire identity to the sinful act. I enveloped the trauma as my truth and therefore was blocking anything that I desired into my life. And because of that, I most definitely shouldn’t be myself, especially in service to others, because I wouldn’t just bring more ‘hurt’ and ‘bad’ their way?

Life was trying to show me where the story got all wrong. I wasn’t inferior to receive support or provisions because I was ‘bad’ and I wasn’t superior for serving others with my gifts, but my subconscious believed that spectrum. The epiphany is that I was on a dysfunctional spectrum, and I needed to move into a healthy cycle.

You’re Not Superior or Inferior—You’re Sovereign

True power doesn’t posture. It doesn’t flex or shrink. It holds steady.

Claim your seat—not at the head of the table, not at the kiddie table—but at the altar of your truth. Humble sovereignty isn’t about hierarchy. It’s about remembrance. That you are here to live, lead, and love from Source.

From that place, you don’t compete—you co-create.

You don’t perform—you embody.

You don’t prove—you pour.

Instead of going from feeling inferior and then feeling narcissistic for short-term superiority, you remember that you are one with Source. That your soul is here for a purpose. You give yourself salvation from the cruel inner distortions, you hold soverignty for who you are, you steward your gifts in service, and you receive sacred supply because you are aligned with your truth.

This type of healing is not here for surface-level affirmations or spiritual bypassing. It is reflecting the architecture of our inner belief systems. And for many of us, the blueprint was built on trauma, sin, scarcity, or survival.

So we play small, not because we lack power, but because we fear what will happen if we own it.

Will they think I’m arrogant? Will I be punished or limited because of what I did or what happened to me?
Will I outgrow people I love?
Will I lose the only community that tolerated me when I was half-alive?

But what if all of that fear is just a disguised invitation to release?

To release the version of you that learned to measure worth by how little space she takes up.

What You’re Being Asked to Release

What I finally realized is that I didn’t want to believe I was ‘bad’, and I was running from it. Everything I valued, I couldn’t see in myself— only the opposite, so deep down, I didn’t believe I deserved anything ‘good’, or to be myself and know I am using it to ‘do good’.

It was all a misidentified self-paradox that needed to be remedied— and I bet you are feeling this fire too.

This is your moment to RELEASE:

• The belief that smallness is safety

• The pattern of confusing martyrdom with goodness

• The illusion that your purpose makes you better (or worse) than anyone else

The SHIFT begins when you stop identifying with the pain and start anchoring into your promise. When you stop trying to be palatable and start being pure. Not perfect—pure. Honest. Aligned. Free.

You are being asked to release the lies of a misidentified life. Your soul knows the truth, but your ego got trapped in the ruins.

So how can you break free?

3-Step Full Moon Ritual: Rise From Smallness Into Sovereignty

This upcoming July Capricorn Full moon is focused on shedding old beliefs like a buck sprouting new antlers—metaphorically rebranding yourself, confronting inner obstacles (imposter syndrome, fear of failure), and intentionally moving forward, preparing for Leo season with emotional recalibration and prioritizing wellness, rest, and self-care. [If you are reading this after July, you can do this on any full moon or when your soul calls to you]. Follow this ritual for releasing.

1. Soul Inquiry – The Truth Beneath the Fear

Sit somewhere quiet under the moonlight or candlelight. Place your hand on your heart and ask yourself aloud:

“What would it look like to own my truth—without apology, without superiority, and without fear?”

Let the question move through you. Don’t rush for answers. Let it stir. Let it rise. Let it reveal.

Optional: Journal whatever comes up. Pay special attention to memories, beliefs, or moments where you dimmed your truth to feel safe or accepted.

2. Release the Cage – Write. Burn. Return.

On a piece of paper, write down every way you've made yourself small:

• Beliefs you inherited or adopted

• Masks you wore

• Roles you performed

• Fears of being “too much” or “not enough”

Then—with intention—burn the paper in a safe space, bury it in the earth, or release it into moving water under the moon. As you do, say:
“This belief no longer holds me. I am free. I am whole. I am home in who I truly am.”

3. Reclaim the Throne – Speak Your Sovereignty

Stand tall. Breathe deep. Place your hand on your solar plexus. Say aloud:

“I no longer shrink. I rise. I reign. And I remember who I am.”

Feel the energy of those words anchor into your body. Let this be a cellular shift. Let the moon witness your becoming— or your returning.

If You’re Ready to Fully Release & Finally BE…

This week’s most aligned offerings are:

• RELEASE – A 21-day mini-journey to let go of what’s weighing down your worth and reclaim your soul’s spaciousness.

• The SHIFT – A micro-course to interrupt default patterns and recode your inner narrative through perspective, embodiment, and energetic truth.

You're not here to shrink. You're here to shift. And this Full Moon? She’s the one holding the door.

Self-Reverence is a Sacred Honor

Your work is not to stay trapped in the tug-of-war between inferiority and superiority.

That tug is not truth—it’s trauma.

It’s ego entangled in old stories that say you are either too much or not enough. But your soul was never caught in that loop. Your soul has always known its place: rooted in Source, anchored in truth, designed for stewardship—not self-doubt.

We are not here to perform worthiness. We are here to remember it.

The most sacred act you can offer this full moon is to stop striving and start revering—yourself. Not in inflated ego, not in self-deprecating shame, but in sacred stewardship of who you truly are.

You do not need to punish yourself into becoming good.

You do not need to deny your gifts to be seen as pure.

You do not need to reject your power to be deemed humble.

You only need to return.

Return to the truth: that people are not bad. Actions can miss the mark, yes. But the soul is never unworthy.

There is forgiveness available at all times—if we let ourselves receive it. There is strength waiting—not through self-abandonment, but through self-return.

This is where abundance begins. Not through chasing, not through proving, not through fixing—but through the holy act of self-acceptance.

Self-reverence is not vanity. It is vitality. It’s a sacred honor to walk as who you really are.

And every time you do, the universe rushes in to meet you with support that only truth can summon.

Three Ways You Can Reframe:

As the moon begins to wane after the full illumination, you’re invited to do the same—to soften, release, and recalibrate. This is not a time to hustle, but to listen, re-align, and let go of the noise that dims your truth.

These three affirmations are not just words. They are energetic keys to help you disidentify from old stories of unworthiness, superiority, or inferiority—and anchor into humble sovereignty.

Affirmations for Sacred Self-Reverence

1. I release the need to prove or shrink—I honor my truth with grounded grace.

2. I remember that I am rooted in Source, forgiven by love, and strengthened by return.

3. I do not fear my power; I steward it with devotion, clarity, and compassion.

Use them in the following ways:

• Speak them aloud each morning while placing your hand on your heart or solar plexus.

• Write them in your journal and reflect on what they stir within.

• Repeat them silently before sleep to reprogram your subconscious.

Let the words move from your mind into your body—and from your body into your being.

Ponder the Question

Where am I still trying to earn what I already am?

This question is your torchlight in the descent. Let it echo in your journaling, your meditations, your quiet moments. Let it reveal the places where you’ve still been chasing approval, love, success, or belonging—believing you must become more or be less.

You already are. You already have.
And when you believe that, everything changes.

-m