How to Build Lasting Confidence Through Alignment
Misalignment from your soul will always cause false confidence and insecurities to grow.
Poem: Key to Peace
sometimes you’ve faced your past
and have worked through the troubles you thought would always last
you’re in a good place mostly
but there is still an unsettled feeling loudly boasting
there’s an emptiness and quiet fury inside
because there’s a gift in you that impatiently resides
it is ready to be put on display but you’re definitely scared
afraid if you let it show, you’ll be deemed a little bit weird
but if you continue to keep it trapped inside
anger and resentment will be all you find
be brave dear child for it’s time to release
and setting it free is the key to your peace
for peace can never be truly found
if you keep God’s gifts locked up all safe and sound
they were meant to be shared with the world
and you’ve known that in your heart since you were a little girl
the road has been long and the ride a bit rough
but now is the time for you to finally call your own bluff
please no longer stand in your own way
allow God to unlock your peace this very day
The Truth About Confidence and Why You Haven’t Found It Yet
What if the confidence you’ve been chasing isn’t something to be found but something already within you, waiting for alignment?
We live in a world that markets confidence as something external—a title, a possession, a certain appearance. But deep, lasting confidence is rooted in self-trust and alignment with who you truly are—not who the world says you should be.
Confidence is essentially building full trust in something, someone or in yourself. The most effective way to build confidence is to live in alignment with who you are and what you came here to do. This not only serves as a cocktail of confidence but more importantly, brings you peace to the internal discontentment that is currently causing you to chase quick things to bring you a short-lived self-esteem boost.
Deep, rooted confidence comes from self-trust and the willingness to live as you are with indifference to the external circumstances and opinions around you.
Real confidence isn’t about seeking external validation or perfection. It’s about living in alignment with your authentic self and trusting that you are enough—exactly as you are. The secret to confidence is less about gaining and more about releasing: releasing false beliefs, unmet needs, and misaligned identities that have kept you from your truth.
How Unmet Needs Shape Our Stories (and Block Our Confidence)
The stories we tell ourselves are powerful. They create meaning in our lives, but often that meaning is based on past wounds and unmet needs. These stories can lead us to see ourselves as broken, incapable, or unworthy, even when none of it is true.
My personal story began with the beliefs passed down by my mother’s fear.
Growing up, every dream I shared was met with a skeptical response:
"You’ll never be able to do that."
My mom has a knack for operating out of her fear. As a young person, this crushed me initially. Aren’t you supposed to be my biggest supporter? Aren’t you supposed to help me find a way to accomplish this instead of tearing me down? Now I understand it as she didn’t know how it could be accomplished or she didn’t feel she could attain such measures and that was her automatic protective mother response. But back then it just pissed me off and with my defined will center and human design manifestor way— I didn’t listen and just did it, mostly in spite to prove her wrong. And boy was that satisfying! I know…what a brat, but honestly, it was something I had to do.
Most of the time it was “don’t do that.” “be like this” “conform”, etc. It was controlling and limiting and then I started to inherit beliefs about myself and how my mother, and others viewed me and my capabilities. And it led me to ignore what was stirring inside, where my intuition was trying to take me and what I deeply valued. In essence, it conditioned me to suppress the very things that made me, me and it was sending horrific messages about myself to myself crushing my power and confidence.
Her words, though well-intended, planted seeds of doubt in my young mind. At first, I felt crushed. But over time, I found a spark of defiance rising within me—a refusal to let her doubts define me. I began chasing those dreams anyway, fueled by the desire to prove her wrong. What felt like rebellion was actually a return to alignment.
It wasn’t the act of proving her wrong that built my confidence; it was aligning with my true self that gave me the strength to trust my own path.
The Psychology of Confidence: Self-Concept and Alignment
Confidence isn’t about perfection; it’s about congruence. It’s about bridging the gap between your self-image (how you see yourself now) and your ideal self (who you aspire to be). One important thing to discuss in building your true confidence has to do with self-concept.
Self-concept is essentially how we view ourselves, which determines what we believe about ourselves. If we are unaware to the tension between the self-concept components, then we can’t fully trust ourselves, and won’t achieve the kind of confidence we are seeking and will carry us through the risks, boundary pushing and resilience in living our destinies.
According to psychologist Carl Rogers, self-concept has three main components:
Self-Image: How you see yourself in the present moment—shaped by past experiences, beliefs, and subconscious patterns.
Ideal Self: The version of you that represents your highest potential—who you want to be at your core.
Self-Esteem: The value and worth you assign to yourself based on your self-image and how you perceive others see you.
When your self-image and ideal self are misaligned, it creates inner tension. You’ll feel unfulfilled, insecure, and stuck in cycles of seeking external confidence boosts that never last. But when your self-image and ideal self align, confidence flows effortlessly.
As we do this, our confidence increases and we can form a new identity, or the desired one we know we were born for but haven’t yet been able to manifest in our material world. But the best part is that we feel aligned to our soul, our true self, the one undamaged and invincible— here for a greater purpose with nothing to stand in our way.
The meaning we place on all of life’s events now give our life true meaning thus fulfilling our heart and our soul. We know deep in our bones our true power and that we are here to use it to serve indifferent of the outside world’s opinions. We no longer assign faulty meaning to their judgments.
We are who we are and that is all. It’s freeing. It’s limitless. It’s you in your purest form sharing your light with our world. And we need that now more than ever.
The Key to Lasting Confidence: Alignment with Your True Self
Confidence is the byproduct of living in alignment with your values, intuition, and soul’s purpose.
It’s about listening to your inner voice and bravely choosing what feels right for you, even if it scares you.
Here are three steps to foster deeper alignment and build unwavering confidence:
Know Your Values: Identify what truly matters to you.
Spend time visualizing your ideal self and the values they embody.
There are dozens of values card sorts online to help you get started. lease note these sometimes change over the phases of our lives.
You can also visualize your ideal self and what it would look and feel like to be them— both big picture and nitty gritty.
Live in Integrity: Align your thoughts, actions, and behaviors with your authentic self.
Your intuition knows the way—listen to it.
Start with small acts of alignment and watch your self-trust grow.
Practice Self-Reflection: Regularly reflect on whether your actions align with your true desires and goals.
At the end of each day, do a quick audit: Did you honor at least one authentic part of yourself today?
Celebrate that. Alignment builds one small step at a time.
Don’t be a perfectionist here. We often overlook and discredit how we are already aligning ourselves.
Journaling more in depth for clarity will help connect the dots and document your growth over time.
A Shortcut to Confidence: Release What No Longer Serves You
Sometimes the fastest way to build confidence is to release the beliefs, habits, or stories that are holding you back.
Try this exercise from my mini-course, “Release.”
Name it to Claim it: Spend a few moments identifying what needs to be released. Ask yourself:
What belief, situation, or habit is no longer serving me?
How far back does this go? Have i seen patterns of this thing in my life before? How familiar is it and how have i coped or cope with it now?
How does it impact my self-image or hold me back from my ideal self?
What would it feel like to set this free?
What would your life look like? What is stopping you? What commitments are you ready to make to yourself to release this?
Write it down. Give it a name. Then release it with intention—through a burning ritual, meditation, or a symbolic act of letting go.
Release it. Align. Trust yourself fully. True confidence will follow because you are dissolving your attachment to what is not you and aligning it with what is.
The Alchemy of Meaning and Confidence
When you begin to live in alignment with your highest self, the meaning you assign to your life changes. What once felt heavy becomes light. What once seemed impossible becomes a path of growth.
Confidence becomes second nature—not because you are perfect, but because you trust yourself fully. You know your truth and live it without apology.
The world needs your light now more than ever.
Closing Reflection
What stories have shaped your confidence? How would your life change if you rewrote them today?
With gratitude and a poem that reminds you of the beautifully aligned wholeness you already possess,
Mandi
Poem: Whole
to find peace, the real kind, is to be whole
finding a way to unite God, your mind, body and soul
often those realms seem to conflict one another
and the overwhelm of trying to make sense of it all is such a bother
but like different tribes of a community
the pieces of you need to find their unity
honoring the differences and needs of each
will help contribute to a higher peace
it's definitely not an easy task
and surely will harbor burdens from your past
but you can truly be free
if you create this inner harmony
once you are more settled as one
it is easier to feel, hear and live with God’s love
pray for the peace and unity of within first
and then you'll be able to make change in this world
for the entire intent of your creation and soul
was to lovingly make you a beautiful piece of the whole
P.S. No one can take the “you” out of you. You have always been, are now, and will forever be. It’s safe to trust and set yourself free.
P.S.S. Build your resilience by cultivating your courage. This guidebook and mini course will help you build courage in transformational microsteps. Your inner warrior needs this— let’s begin.